Black Light Constellations
by joyousbrokenthing
Summary: She loves them both. But she thinks maybe they just love each other. James/Camille/Logan, James/Logan
1. Chapter 1

**Black Light Constellations**

**Summary:** She loves them both. But she thinks maybe they just love each other.

**Pairing:** James/Camille/Logan

**Rating:** M

**AN: **This is my first fan fiction in over a year and the first venture into writing Big Time Rush. I hope you'll welcome me to the fandom even if Jagan is not the most popular pairing. Currently looking for a beta if anyone would be so kind please PM me.

**Chapter One**

"_I don't want to catch you with some other guy's face under your eyelids."_

_-Coquet Coquette, Of Montreal_

The sixth (or is it seventh?) time Logan breaks up with her, Camille ends up losing her virginity to James in the back seat of the Big Time mobile hours later. Camille has always been one for dramatics, often times blurring reality and fiction but there's no sense of comfort in reenacting a Gossip Girl plot. James Diamond is no Chuck Bass and the Big Time mobile is no limo. She slept with her ex-boyfriend's best friend and that's that.

She's sure she will die from the guilt. Perfect as James Diamond may be, Camille has only ever loved the boy who's left her.

She keeps quiet as James zips up his jeans. He leans back into the seat and rests his legs on the center console. Camille has one hand in her hair and the other across her stomach. She lies across the back seat with her feet over James' lap. Neither has said a word since it began and she's afraid to say anything now. Her bra is still on but she's naked from the waist down. James run his hands up and down her leg but he's still not looking at her.

It's hot as the summer nights wind down. She feels James lean down above her. His fingers graze her cheeks before she feels the tears. She didn't even know she had started crying. He traces the raw bruises on her neck and she's still looking anywhere but at him.

"Sorry," he sighs. He sounds defeated. She's thrown by surprise. This is not the James Diamond she knows. This is not the boastful voice of smugness she expected.

"Not your fault," she replies. Really, she is every part responsible. She's always run to James when Logan breaks her heart; counts on him to kiss the pain away and make her forget for however temporary. James cares about his friendship with Logan enough to not say anything. It's not like they're cheating. This is different though. Despite the unstable nature of her relationship with Logan she always imagined her first time to be with the brown-eyed boy.

She's not angry with James. She's only angry at herself. She didn't exactly think straight when his hand moved up her dress. She didn't exactly say no when he removed her underwear. And she didn't exactly keep quiet with his tongue between her legs. She even remembers the slight nod when James looked into her eyes for consent.

"I'm sorry about you and Logan," he mumbles.

"Logan can't know about this," she all but pleads, "I have to have him back, James."

He doesn't reply. He continues tracing patterns on her neck and just nods.

"I'm sorry," she offers. She's not sure if an apology is necessary. It's not like this meant anything. Still, she's not entirely comfortable lying naked next to James and thinking of Logan.

"He's still leaving, you know." James brushes the hair out of her face.

"I know."

And she does. Logan is probably packing his bags as they speak. He's about to move halfway across the country. Harvard Med awaits. Her heart clenches at the thought.

"We should get back," he grabs her dress from the floor and lays it on her stomach.

She feels him lean forward and switch on the dim light in the car. He freezes.

"Camille", he chokes out, "I didn't know."

She follows his line of sight. Her eyes flicker to the stain on her thighs. She quickly tries to cover his come mixed with her blood on her pale skin. She was impure now. Fair from deserving of Logan Mitchell.

"It doesn't matter," she whispers. Her dress is back on and she's moved as far away from James as physically possible.

"I thought…"

"You should take me home." She mumbles.

"I thought you and Logan have…"

"We haven't." she corrects. She really does not want to have this conversation and especially with James of all people.

It's not that she hasn't tried. Every time she's been willing to give it up to Logan something always interferes. Every time they get one step closer to having sex one thing or another causes them to break up.

James asks no more questions and for that she's grateful.

She crawls into bed when she gets home and plans to never leave. She misses her audition the next morning. Logan doesn't call. She had intended to help him finish packing and see him off to the airport. Instead she watches 8 straight hours of Gossip Girl. She prays her life won't be as complicated as a teenage drama. All she wants is to love and to be loved in return. Surely that can't be too much to ask.

She's almost asleep when her phone buzzes. She frowns. It's not Logan.

**Are you okay? – James**

She doesn't reply.

Before she can set it down her phone buzzes again.

**Just dropped Logan off at the airport. Thought you should know. – James**

That's when Camille turns off her phone and begins to cry.


	2. Chapter 2

**Black Light Constellations**

**Summary:** She loves them both. But she thinks maybe they just love each other.

**Pairing:** James/Camille/Logan

**Rating:** M

**AN:** Big thanks to all four lovely reviewers and everyone who has this on story alert. If it wasn't clear this is a James/Camille/Logan story with all possible pairings between the three. Slash and smut account for the rating. Logan will show up soon, I promise. Reviews are like crack. Please feed my addiction.

**Chapter Two**

"_Sleep don't visit, so I choke on sun, And the days blur into one, And the backs of my eyes hum with things I've never done" _

_-Welcome Home, Radical Face_

The day after Logan leaves Camille decides that there isn't any reason to get out of bed. She stays under her blanket all day watching mindless infomercials. Her phone is tucked under her pillow. She silently prays that Logan will call.

Sleep doesn't visit. It's well past midnight when she hears a soft knock on her door.

"Camille," she recognizes the low growl. She leaves her bed for the first time that day. Trudging across her tiny studio she opens the door to find James slumped against the wall.

His clothes are disheveled and she can smell the alcohol from where he stood.

He marches past her and sprawls himself across her bed.

"What are we watching?" he asks.

Her eyes glance at the TV. The volume is low but she can tell it's an infomercial for some sort of work out. She doesn't reply but crawls back into bed next to him. The light flicker across his face and she feels sorry for the shell that his friends have left of him. She wonders if sadness has also consumed her every feature. How is it possible to let one's happiness be so dependent on the presence of another?

Kendall was the first to leave, taking up a spot on the Minnesota Gophers Hockey team. Carlos, without ever much of a plan, followed Kelly to New York to help her with Wainwright PR, a firm she opened after leaving Roque Records with Gustavo's blessing. Logan was the last to leave LA following his lifelong dream of becoming a doctor. James was the only one who chose to stay in the spotlight. He worked out a three record solo deal with Griffin and Gustavo before the band broke apart.

A city with over three million still felt empty without the three Minnesota boys. It's been nearly 5 years since she's met them. The four boys who had no other plans than sticking together had grown up and grown apart. They have toured the world together for five years straight and ended up in four different cities. Three platinum records and a few hefty paychecks later, Big Time Rush has joined the land of forgotten boy bands. Each boy finally chasing his own dream.

Five years later and Camille is nowhere closer to her dream. The only sense of recognition she receives is of an unstable on-off five-year relationship with Logan Mitchell. And even then, she is only recognized by his fan girls, who have less-than-pleasant things to say about her. Truth be told, Camille is a rather unemployed, unknown actress without much of a plan. What little money her parents left her is spent on her less than stellar small studio she pays too much for to stay in the same neighborhood as her more successful friends. She sees Jo Taylor from time to time. Her best friend at the Palm Woods is now a hot in-demand actress. A string of Hollywood hookups later and Kendall and Jo as a couple is almost a forgotten memory in everyone's mind. Camille wonders where her career might be had she spent less time chasing after Logan.

"Logan's sorry he couldn't say goodbye," James interrupts her thoughts, "Have you talked to him yet?"

She shakes her head.

"He's probably busy settling in. I tried calling him earlier. He didn't answer but texted me about some party he was going to." James voice sounds far off like he's lost in his own train of thoughts, "College life."

She sees the fear in James' eyes. Recognizes it as a feeling she shares. He's afraid to be left behind. It's silly to think of the self-centered James Diamond as someone who's jealous of a bunch of Frat boys and college kids. He's the only one of the four with a multimillion-dollar contract to stardom but truth is he's the only one that got left behind. It doesn't matter how many million of boys and girls scream your name if the people you love most are not around you.

"Logan and I…we didn't exactly end things on a good note," Camille spills, "I may have slapped him. Once. Or twice."

James smiles and she feels herself lighten up.

"You know how we are." She says.

"Oh I know," he chuckles.

They're both lying on their stomachs facing each other, a considerable amount of space between them. She feels as if she should feel weird about yesterday's events but with James she's always felt at ease.

"I miss him," she blurts out before she can stop herself.

His eyes go dark before he closes them.

"I do too," he sighs.

He didn't exactly take it as hard when Kendall or Carlos left. She's not sure if it's because Logan was the last to leave or if because it's _Logan_. The two have grown considerably closer within the last few years. Carlos has grown into his own while Kendall has always been the head strong independent one.

There are very few people James will not fall into bed with. And as discreet as James thinks he may be, Camille knows about the few rendezvous James has had with other men. She sees his eye brighten up when Logan enters a room but she's never allowed her mind to go there. She's not certain of the extent of James interest in Logan and she never wants to be.

The possibility of lying in bed with the boy you just lost your virginity to talking about another boy you're both maybe, possibly in love with is too much for her. The thought closes around her neck and she's willing to do anything to escape this cruel irony.

Camille leans forward and presses her lips to James. He responds almost instantly, attacking her tongue and surging forward. She can taste what she thinks is gin. She's pressed back against the bed and feels his weight rest on hers. His fingers are in her hair, pulling and teasing. He's aggressive and impatient and Camille can think of nothing better. Her hands find themselves underneath his shirt. She feels his weight shift upwards and he rids himself of his t-shirt before jumping back down. He takes her bottom lips between his teeth and pulls hard. A moan escapes her mouth as his hand is underneath her shirt, gripped firmly around her breast. He plants wet kisses against her jaw and moves towards her neck, his fingers kneading against her sensitive skin. The other hand traces the waistband of her pajamas.

He sits upwards between her knees; pulls at her pants and Camille lift her hips to comply. Her underwear follows in haste. She sits up with him and takes off her own shirt as he unbuttons his jeans. When she falls back he's above her naked and panting, inside her without warning. She gasps. Whether he hears her or just chooses to ignore she doesn't know. His thrusts are sporadic and without any rhythm.

She squeezes her eyes shut at the intrusion, her fingers fists against the sheet. He's not as careful with her as he was the first time. Everything is a rush and it feels so, _so_ good. She can feel herself on the edge. His face is buried in her neck and his heavy breathing drowns out her moans. He lunges deep and stays before pulling out and repeating the action. Camille bursts at the seams.

She comes down from her high as James takes his time inside her. With her eyes closed she runs her fingers through his hair, thinks of a darker shade of brown, a shorter do, browner eyes. She feels him stiffen and feels the spurts without her.

The words in her ears stun her.

It might be that her heart is racing too fast, or that the blood has left her brain but she can't tell if that was "Fuck Logan" or "Fuck, _Logan_" that escaped his lips.


	3. Chapter 3

**Black Light Constellations**

**Summary:** She loves them both. But she thinks maybe they just love each other.

**Pairing:** James/Camille/Logan, James/Logan

**Rating:** M

**AN:** Have I mentioned this is dark? The story is showverse based but the characters are a few years older, much more mature and dealing with some not-so-friendly Nickelodeon content. This is written with every intention of Jagan in mind from Camille's perspective. All three will deal with their fair share of angst before the eventual end. A few people have expressed concern with the lack of Logan but I hope it'll be rewarding when he finally appears.

**Chapter Three**

"_Time waits for no one, So do you want to waste some time, Oh, oh tonight? Don't be afraid of tomorrow, Just take my hand, I'll make it better tonight" _

_-Illuminated, Hurts_

James is already gone when she wakes. She finds a note where he slept.

**Had to be at the studio early. XOXO, JD**

She doesn't know whether to feel relief or grief. She had to admit finding a note made the previous night's mistake feel less shameful but the sweetness troubled her. The sexual encounters have blurred the line on their friendship. She has a deep-gutted feeling knowing full well nothing good can come of this. Every thing has spiraled out of her control and all she wants to do is to not _hurt_.

She throws herself back into work. There's a script on her desk from her agent, an audition for an independent low budget drama lined up, an edgy adaptation of some stripper's memoir. The role is "life changing" they tell her. She's heard these things so many times she doesn't know what to believe.

She doesn't see or speak to James for another two weeks and finds him in the most unexpected of places.

The loud music plays over the flashing lights. James is in the back corner of the VIP room with a few guys she does not recognize. A couple girls she had just met are dancing on the tables above them. Camille feels flimsy standing there in her bra and underwear. Of all the years of method acting, she wonders if this has gone too far. She never expected to run into someone she knew and especially not James.

Self doubt escapes her when she sees James lean over the table, rolled up bill in one hand, doing lines of what she's sure is coke. The guys around him immediately follow and Camille feels sick to her stomach. James doesn't see her. In fact, she's not sure he's seeing anything. His eyes are so far gone that she's not sure if he'll be ok.

She's under strict rules to not interact with any of the guests but she stalks over to their area anyway.

"James!" the music might be too loud because he can't hear what she says.

"Oh hey honey," She feels a hand on her ass and she slaps it away.

"James!" She's all but hysterical.

"Camille?" He eyes her up and down, "What the fuck are you doing here?"

She doesn't answer but just grabs him by the hand. She leads him away despite the protests from the guys around him. James stumbles but takes her lead. She leads him to the back room as she throws on her clothes and shoves her belongings back into her bag.

"Let's go," she leads him to a cab outside and instructs the cab driver with her address.

They sit in silence. His eyes are closed and she's sure shame is also eating him up inside.

"Camille," he growls, "What the _fuck_ are you doing at a strip club?"

She tries to answer but his face clicks like he's already figured it out.

"Wait, don't tell me this is another one of your method acting things."

"It is, I'm just-"

"Jesus fucking Christ, Camille. Why on earth would you go that far?" His tone is incredulous, "Stripping? Stripping? Don't give me 'it's for the art' bullshit, if you need a job I can find you a better role."

"I'm not stripping, James. I'm just shadowing. Not allowed to even go near the clients, just observing."

"Oh," she can see him breathe out a sigh of relief. Despite his current state her heart tightens at the concern.

She doesn't press him about his activities. This is a conversation she'd rather have when he'll remember.

"I-um," he tries to explain but closes his eyes instead. Focuses on his breathing like it's all he's capable of. She just takes his hands in hers and squeezes hard, a mutual understanding between them, lets him know it'll be ok.

When they arrive, he stumbles up the stairs to her apartment and she helps him the best she can. He throws up in her hallway before they make it inside, hunched over, leaning against the doorway spewing vomit across the outdated carpet. James is gasping, choking, coughing spit and she doesn't know what more to do than rub his back and pray he'll be ok.

She helps him takes off his shirt and pants. Guides him to her bed and fetches him water. Makes him drink the full glass before rolling him onto his stomach and crawling in after him. She watches his breathing carefully. Watches his chest rise and fall before it evens out and he falls asleep. She can finally breathe when she knows he's ok.

She gets up and walks towards her bathroom, picking up his pants along the way. She feels it vibrate in her hands and removes his phone from its pockets.

The message on the screen stills her heart. It's every thing she's ever wanted to hear.

**NEW MESSAGE**

**FROM: Logan**

**I never should have left you.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Black Light Constellations**

**Summary:** She loves them both. But she thinks maybe they just love each other.

**Pairing:** James/Camille/Logan, James/Logan

**Rating:** M

**AN:** Many thanks to **lo**, **eatmydustxo**, **veryjaneeyre**, **Big Time Hooker**, **Stranger In Training** and **asLightasDark** for the reviews. The raised concerns about "how could James do that to Logan?" will be addressed eventually. Stick with me, Jagan will be epic and all make sense, I promise. Also in this chapter, a wild Logan appears!

**Chapter Four**

"_Seems like I'm always on my own, Seems like I'm never coming home, Seems like I'm always on my own, And all the stars and boulevards aren't close enough to you."__  
><em>

_-Augustana, Stars and Boulevards_

She spends all night awake next to him. Whether out of fear for his uneven breathing or the emotional betrayal she feels, she's not sure.

The phone is still clutched in her hands when James wakes. Camille is sitting upright in her bed. He closes his eyes at the intrusion of light unaware of his surrounding for a quick second. Camille says nothing. The registration on James' face confirms that he's not ready for this conversation.

She tosses the phone towards his chest.

"Logan wants you to know he never should have left you."

James' eyes light up as he checks his message to confirm what she's just said; something flickers across his face that she does not recognize.

"Has he- um," James could not finish the question.

"No, he hasn't." she replies anyways, "Not since we broke up."

"I'm sorry. I told him he should call you."

"And why would you do that, James?"

There's no harshness when he replies, "I know you still love Logan."

She doesn't deny it. She stares at the crumbled blanket in her hands and wills herself not to cry.

"This is so fucked up," she sighs, "Do _you_ love Logan?"

She looks him intently because _she has to know._

"Of course I do," he swallows.

"No, James. Are you in love with Logan?"

"No."

And whether or not she believed him was moot.

"How long have you been doing coke?"

His eyes widen, shocked at her question. He rubs at his eyes and sinks back into her bed.

"There's a lot of pressure riding on this new album. I only wanted to take the edge off."

"With cocaine and strippers, James?" Calmness escaped her.

The covers are thrown off his lap as he sits up to face her.

"Okay, that's rich. Let's talk about you. Let's talk about how you were almost naked at a strip club. Why can't you just accept help and let me find a role for you? I can call in favors Camille. I even told you the music video lead is yours if you just accept it."

"Because we're not 16 anymore James! What does it say about my acting abilities if people only cast me because of James Diamond?"

"It doesn't have to be me, Jo said she could-"

"You're missing the point!"

He takes her hands and places a chaste kiss on the back of it, "You're very talented. We all know that."

"I know, I know." And suddenly she feels guilty for raising her voice. Of all her friends, James has always been the most supportive, "Anyways, this movie isn't bad. The script is quite good actually. I'm not even fully method acting. I haven't been this focused in awhile. I have high hopes. You don't have to worry about me."

"But I do, you know." He squeezes her hand. Despite everything they've been through, it doesn't feel awkward. With James, she has always felt at ease. "You know, sometimes I feel like our time at the Palmwoods was the happiest time of my life."

"James-"

"Everyone's gone, Camille. I need you to stay by my side." She has never seen him look more vulnerable. Not even that time he found out all Cuda products had been discontinued. "Please."

She smiles and nods, "No more drugs, James. I need you to stick around too."

He kisses her then, short and brief. Nothing like the desperation of the first time they slept together and nothing like the numbness of their last. An innocent soft kiss pressed against her lips and she remembers just how very much she likes kissing him.

"What are we doing? Why can't we be around each other and not make out?"

"I'm not complaining. Kissing's fun. Especially with James Diamond." The twinkle in his eyes returns, "Are you complaining? No one complains."

"This should feel complicated."

"Doesn't feel complicated to me." He shrugs.

"I know but it should."

He shrugs and shakes his head. She laughs and leans into another kiss.

"There's an event tonight Gustavo's making me go to. Red carpet, the whole thing, will you please come with me?"

"James, I don't know," Fear creeps into her voice, here is where the complications set in. Messing around with James is one thing but the possibility of something more is so much more than she can bear at the moment.

"I need you." He pouts, "To make sure I don't drink. Please? I need you."

And how could she say no?

"Yeah, of course."

"Yay!" his demeanor does a 180 and it's these dramatics that she loves, a pure genuine smile on his face that's been missing for far too long.

"Until then," he pulls her down, hands firm against her waist, "How about you say we do some method acting? Do you need practice running lines? I have a wallet full of ones." He teases.

She laughs and hits him on the chest, "Sounds great."

The Logan cloud looming above their head drifts quietly in the distance. And for the first time since he left a gaping hole in both of their chest, she thinks maybe they'll be all right.

"Mr. Mitchell, what brings you in today?"

"You know, I've been here for almost a month now and I'm not entirely sure if med school was the right decision." Logan recoils as if the words physically pained him.

"A lot of students have that problem. That's why the Office of Academic Advisory is here to help. What makes you feel like you've changed your mind?"

"I just…I don't think my heart is in the right place." He mumbles, slouched over in his seat playing absent-mindedly with his fingers, "I may have misplaced it."


	5. Chapter 5

**Black Light Constellations**

**Summary:** She loves them both. But she thinks maybe they just love each other.

**Pairing:** James/Camille/Logan, James/Logan

**Rating:** M

**Chapter Five**

"James?" Camille nudges him, "James, wake up. This is bad. This is so bad."

He rolls over and mumbles inaudibly.

"Seriously, wake up!" She pulls the sheet off his body.

"What time is it?" He groans.

A newspaper is thrown at his chest.

"We look good," he grins.

"They took photos of us!" She yells.

"Yes, that's usually what happens on a red carpet, Camille. I'm sorry, did you not notice all the cameras?" She doesn't miss the sarcasm.

He hands the paper back to her, "You looked good last night, by the way." 

"They're saying we're dating!"

"What?" James asks, "Who?"

"James Diamond stepped out last night with girlfriend, actress, Camille Roberts." she reads, "This is their first outing as a couple. The two posed together on the red carpet. Roberts was previously linked to ex-band mate Logan Mitchell!"

"Huh," James shrugs.

"This is bad! This is so bad! Why would anyone think we're dating?"

James looks down at himself, "Well, for one, I'm naked in your bed. And two, what we did last night is more than questionable."

"James!" She squeals, "Fix this! What if Logan reads this?"

His eyes go dark.

"Relax. I'll call Logan. I'll have Gustavo release a statement right away."

"We should also probably stop this." She sighs, "What are we doing?"

"Casual sex?" James suggests.

"Not funny. Seriously, you don't feel weird?"

"Is it weird that I don't feel weird?" He asks.

"No, I feel the same way." Camille bits her lips.

"Alright, well I better get going." He searches for his clothes thrown about the room.

"Thank you. You know, for coming with me last night." He says, "I, uh, I really needed you."

"No problem. I'll always be there for you." She smiles.

And it was true. Come hell or high water, James was so someone Camille could never abandon.

"Gustavo's birthday party is tonight. Will you come with me?"

"James, I don't know if-"

"Oh come on, it's a private party. There will be no press there."

She hesitates, "Yeah, okay."

"Okay, I'll pick you up at eight." James leans down for a quick kiss before he's out the door.

The photographers waiting outside of Camille's apartment stalk him to his car.

"Fuck," he mumbles. He hangs his head low and ignores their questions, prays to God no one will publish these photos of him in last nights' clothes.

The party is in full swing when they arrive.

"Logan won't answer my calls," James has not stopped looking at his phone.

"Maybe he's just busy," she reasons, "Relax, let's find Gustavo."

"Damn it. I have no reception in here. You have fun. I'll be right back."

He's gone before she can interject.

"Camille, just the person I was hoping to see." Gustavo approaches her.

"Gustavo! Great party!" She smiles.

"So you and James…" Gustavo trails.

"Nothing is going on." Camille is quick to reply.

"Then explain to me why I had to put out a statement about last nights' event claiming you two are just friends only to be bombarded with photos of him leaving your apartment this morning doing the walk of shame?" Gustavo raises his eyebrows.

"I can explain." Camille flusters.

"Look, Camille," Gustavo sighs, "If you want to date James, I approve. Just go ahead and do it."

"I don't want to date James." She groans.

"You guys would make a…cute couple." Gustavo looks pained to say that, "He really needs someone right now that the boys are all gone."

"I can't just date James. Logan- "

"Logan's gone."

Camille doesn't reply.

"Look, Logan's never known what he's wanted. That kid is smart but he cannot make a decision to save his life. I think the reason why you guys were on and off for so long is because Logan wanted to hang on to all his options. But James genuinely cares about you."

"Alright, well, that's about enough lovey dovey crap I can take for today." Gustavo says, "Just take my advice. It will do wonders for both your careers. People care who he's dating, Camille. Have a good time, tonight, alright? Keep an eye on him for me. Make sure he doesn't party too hard. I need him healthy and happy and stuff."

With that he walks away to mingle with the other guests leaving Camille with a tight feeling in her chest. What Gustavo said is not all untrue. She wonders how stupid it is to hang on to a boy who doesn't care about her and overlook what's right in front of her.

With newfound conviction she sets off to find James.

He's leaning against the wall near the bathrooms. James has his phone in his hands. He's almost shaking, appearing to be on the verge of tears. The phone is shoved into his pocket.

"You have no idea how badly I need to bump a line of coke right now," His eyes are dark and pleading.

"James."

He pulls her in with one hand on her lower back. The other is tangled in her hair. He kisses her then. It's fast and familiar, echoing the same intensity as their first time together.

Her back is pushed against the doors of the bathroom. He lifts her onto the sink, attacks her neck with his teeth, slipping his hands past her dress, pulling at her underwear in haste. It's quick and it's fast. He lets out a deep groan when he enters her. Rests his head on her neck to catch his breath. She moves against him, desperate to find release.

Sex won't solve everything. But it helps.

Camille freezes when door flies open. She's confronted with dark, brown eyes staring back at her.

She shoves at James' shoulder immediately, a hitch in her breath, trying desperately not to cry.

"Logan?"

He looks past her then, staring intently at mirror behind her, at what she assumes to be James' reflection.

Logan scoffs silently and looks to the floor shaking his head. He's gone before she remembers how to breathe.

"Logan!" James runs after him.

Camille hops off the sink. Her mind is reeling. She adjusts her dress and picks up her underwear off the ground. That's when she crumbles and begins to cry.


	6. Chapter 6

**Black Light Constellations**

**Summary:** She loves them both. But she thinks maybe they just love each other.

**Pairing:** James/Camille/Logan, James/Logan

**Rating:** M

**AN:** I love writing this one. I don't know why. The James/Logan history is definitely there but goes untold because I'm stupid enough to tell a James/Logan story from Camille's perspective. Which understandably has made a lot of people not want to read. Oh well. For everyone kind enough to have given this story a chance, a thousand kisses!

**Chapter Six**

When she rounds the corner she sees them. She stays behind the wall, keeping a distance, watches them from where she hid holding her breathe. James is grabbing Logan by the arm and shoving him against the wall. Logan is frantic, trying his best to bat James away.

"Let go of me." He shoves at James' chest with both hands.

"Logan, Logan," James pleads, "Look at me, please, just look at me."

She sees Logan pause for a moment, looking up into James' eyes before he is squirming beneath the taller boy once again.

"You wouldn't answer my calls today. Why didn't you answer them?" James asks, shaking Logan by the shoulders.

"I'm surprised you would still call me, considering you've been busy sleeping with my ex-girlfriend. Remind me if I'm wrong, but didn't we establish a code against that? Oh right, you're James fucking Diamond! What do you know about following codes?"

"I begged you not to go," James is near crying, "I _begged_ you."

"So that gave you the right to fuck Camille?" Logan is hysterical, "Doesn't this seem a little familiar? You're never going to change. You are such an asshole."

"You left her!" James shouts and punches the wall behind Logan's head. He lowers his head and takes a deep breathe, whispering the next part, "You left me…"

"Camille is mine, James." Logan's voice is stern.

She felt her heart swell at the possession. It is sickening. She should not want to belong to Logan like this, like a material possession taken for granted, selfishly hoarded and disposed of at his every whim.

"You don't love her." James voice is shaky, pleading. And in that moment she wants to hate him. But Logan doesn't deny it. That breaks her heart even more.

"Oh and you do?" Logan challenges.

James doesn't reply. Her heart constricts. He opens his mouth and then closes it. She doesn't know what she wants him to say.

Logan scoffs and shoves James away from him. This time James doesn't push back. He just keeps his gaze to the ground. Logan is moving down the hallway. Camille starts running.

"Logan!" He doesn't stop. He is moving quicker than her heels can carry her. She's frantically pushing past party guests and out the front door chasing after him.

When she catches up to him she's desperately catching her breathe. The pounding of her heart leaves her in a dizzying frenzy. He opens the door to his car and turns around to face her. There is disgust and disappointment evident in his eyes.

"Didn't waste any time, did you?" He mocks.

That's when she broke, "You broke up with me, Logan. God, I missed you. I missed you so much."

She's crying freely now.

He presses his lips together and doesn't reply. She doesn't care how weak she sounds.

"You broke my heart into a million little pieces, Logan. You didn't even give us a chance. You didn't call. You didn't text. I didn't even get a simple email telling me you were okay. I didn't do anything wrong. We were over, Logan." She reminds him.

"James? Of all people, why did you have to fuck _James_?" He's shouting. He grits his teeth, trembling slightly, like he's holding back on lashing out physically.

"Would you care if it was anyone other than James?" Tonight, she needs to be brave. She deserves an honest answer, a confirmation to what she's suspected all along.

"I loved you, Camille." He whispers. He shakes his head and stares at the ground.

She doesn't miss the past tense used. How many times can a heart break? How many times can the same person make you cry? She thinks of what she feels for him, of how many times she's waited with patience and understanding when he wanted to be 'off again'. She thinks of the forgiveness she's handed out time after time. Always waiting for him to make up his mind. Is that love or just stupidity?

How can everything she's done compare to what he's put her through? Surely, that cannot be love. Or maybe Logan just doesn't know _how_ to love.

"Take me with you. Wherever you're going, take me with you." She pleads.

He contemplates it for a moment. He nods and she hurries into the car before he can change his mind. He's cruising fast down the highway in the rental car. No words spoken between them.

"I have no where to go." He finally says. She assumes he had planned on staying with James before.

"Let's go to my place." She offers.

When they arrive, he follows in after her. He sits down on the edge of her bed. Camille kicks off her heels and sits down next to him. His weight on the bed shifts her closer to him. She hesitantly rests her head on his shoulder. He sighs deeply.

"So James is your first." He breathes.

She nods slightly. His body stills and her heart breaks.

"I wanted it to be you," she confesses. Surely he must have known. How many times had she offered it freely?

He hesitantly wraps one arm around her shoulder and places a kiss to her temple. She leans up and presses a soft kiss to his lips. She melts when he kisses her back, soft, fragile kisses. It's nothing like kissing James. There's no hurry or desperation. Instead, she feels comfort and a sense of completion.

He slides the straps off of her shoulders. The dress piles to her waist. When they fall back against the bed her heart fills with contentment.

Logan doesn't look at her. His eyebrows furrow like his mind is miles elsewhere. Given the circumstance, she doesn't blame him.

It's gentle and it's slow and she wishes more than anything to have avoided the obstacle that led them here.

Logan rolls off of her when he's finished. Nuzzles against her neck and falls asleep.

* * *

><p>Camille can't sleep. Instead she stays up, studying Logan's blank face trying to make do with the guilt that she feels. There's a soft knock at her door sometime before four am.<p>

She finds James disheveled, the stench of alcohol on his lips. He looks past her with bloodshot eyes and she knows that he sees Logan. His face crumbles.

She looks back at Logan and instinctively wants to close the door. She fears his reaction to finding James at her door. But she looks back at James. She can never turn her back on him. Not when he's like this.

She quickly steps outside and closes the door behind her. James leans onto the wall behind him and slides to the ground. He cradles his head in his hands and begins to cry. Unrestrained sobbing breathes.

Camille sits against the wall across from him. She wants to console him but everything is so far gone. Her mind is reeling.

"How long have you been in love with Logan?" she croaks.

He looks up at her and swallows, "Forever."

"Have you and Logan ever – " She trails. She doesn't know what she wants to ask, she is not sure if she wants to know the answer.

"We've never had sex – no." What that implies, she's not sure.

"Did he ever cheat on me with you?" She pries, because she has to know. She just has to.

"No." James shakes his head, "When he thought he wanted me, he'd break up with you. But Logan can never make up his mind."

That much she knows is true. He's been hanging onto her for years. He doesn't let her move on but doesn't have it in him to commit.

"I'm sorry, Camille." He whispers.

Camille's heart is caught in her throat, "James…"

"I was so jealous of you, all those years ago. Wanted to know what was so great about you. I think that's why I kissed that first time. I had to know for myself. Then each time Logan and I got somewhere he would break up with you. I felt so bad about it, Camille. You were a friend and I did this to you. Couldn't help myself. Tried to be there for you each time. Kissed the hurt away until we both forgot…."

She wipes at the tears running down her cheeks. Her mind wanders. She wonders if Logan sought out the same comfort in her as James had. Is she just an object between the two they seek to conquer, just to feel closer to one another?

She wants to hate him but she can't. Regardless of anything he's done because of Logan, James is a greater friend than any others she's known. She knows first hand what it's like to love Logan Mitchell. Romantic sensibilities be damned. She'll take what she can get.

"I love you too." He says in a rush. "For whatever it's worth, I love you too. I'm sorry."

And that was more than she can say for Logan. She takes a deep breath and wipes at the last of her tears. She offers him a warm smile. "It's okay, James."

She knows with deep conviction that she loves him too. He has single-handedly held her together when Logan has torn her apart. In the past few weeks, the gratitude has spiraled into something so much more. She loves them both. But she is tired. She's tired of thinking, of hurting, of analyzing every little feeling, picking at the seams. If they can't decide, then why should she?

She just wants rest. She stands up and takes James by the hand. Pulls him up and leads him back inside her apartment. He takes a moment to calm his breathing. He stands still at the door staring at Logan's sleeping frame. She squeezes his hand and smiles weakly.

The words go unspoken. James walks over to the bed and crawls under the covers. She sits down on the other side of Logan studying the two of them. James is crying. There's distance between the two like he's afraid to reach out and touch the sleeping boy. His voice hitches and Logan slowly opens his eyes. When Logan recognizes the sight before him he pulls James in flush against him. Logan holds him until James' crying subsides. Camille holds her breath.

Logan readjusts to lay his head in the crook of James' neck and hugs him tight. Camille lies on her side, staring at Logan's back, tracing circles. Logan glances back like he's forgotten she's there. When Camille smiles he places a chaste kiss on her lips and resumes his place against James.

Camille wonders if this will be the last of their need for her. Her heart aches. She feels James' hand reach over and intertwine with hers. He smiles at her; a genuine smile.

She lets out a breath and lets sleep take over. Maybe they'll be okay.


	7. Chapter 7

**Black Light Constellations**

**Summary:** She loves them both. But she thinks maybe they just love each other.

**Pairing:** James/Camille/Logan, James/Logan

**Rating:** M

**AN:** Warning: SMUT. A ridiculous amount. I had to give Camille this before the story moves swiftly into Jagan territory.

**Chapter Seven**

Their hushed whispers wake her. Camille opens her eyes slightly catching sight of James brushing his fingers through Logan's hair. She closes them quickly and feigns sleep.

"You shouldn't have left." She feels the bed shift and the warmth of Logan pressed against her gradually cooling. She knows James has enveloped Logan even closer into himself.

Logan inhales deeply. She assumes he is breathing James in.

"I came back for you." He whispers as a way of apology.

"School?" James asks with concern.

Logan takes a moment to contemplate. "Not the right time."

She hears their breathing stop for a moment, the undeniable sound of a kiss, a sigh of contentment. It's not their first time, she realizes.

Logan murmurs something undecipherable. His breathing evens steadily.

When she opens her eyes again Logan has fallen back asleep. The moonlight coming through her window cast dark shadows onto James' face. He has one arm wrapped around Logan's waist and the other underneath Logan's head, his fingers still running themselves through Logan's hair.

She doesn't remember who she's supposed to be jealous of anymore.

He is staring intensely at the sleeping boy. Like he's afraid to even blink for fear that Logan will disappear.

It's not an emotion Camille has ever seen. A breath catches in her throat. James finally looks at her; a flash of panic crosses his face. He's waiting for a reaction. She smiles at him weakly. His eyes soften and he lets go of his hold on Logan's waist.

Logan turns onto his back between them in his sleep. She shifts close enough to rest her head on his shoulder. She feels James' finger brush the hair off her face. Sighs contently when they trail up and down her arm, lulling her to sleep.

* * *

><p>When she wakes she is caught by surprise from the onslaught of Logan pinned against the mattress next to her, James' face buried in the crook of his neck licking and teasing with fervor. She instinctively gasps. Logan looks at her with terror. He squirms underneath James to break free. James keeps him pinned down and eyes her with a grin. She can see the idea forming in his mind, she involuntarily moans at the ache between her legs.<p>

"Relax," James whispers into Logan's ear, bites at the outer shell. Logan keeps his eyes on her. When she offers a small smile, Logan closes his eyes and moans softly.

James lifts himself off of Logan. He grabs her by the back of the head with one hand and pulls her in for a deep kiss. They are inches above Logan. His tongue brushes against hers fervently. Logan moans underneath them. She decides to put on a show. She bites at James' lower lip and pulls.

Logan's hand is at the waistband of her shorts. Within seconds he's cupped her sex, fingers intruding and rubbing hard at her clit. She pants into James' kiss, trembling. James hisses.

She pulls back and looks in between them. Logan's other hand is in James' pants, his wrist drawing circles up and down James' member, a smug grin on his face.

Their attention both fully back to him.

James groans. A series of swears repeated as he tries to keep himself together. A dark desire clouds his eyes. He pulls Logan's hand away and sits himself up on top of Logan. Camille falls back onto the bed besides them.

Logan's hand pulls away from her. Both his hands now rest on James waist, digging so deep his knuckles turns white. He's grinding upwards, hissing at every turn. James moves lower, pulls at Logan's boxers, Logan lifts up to comply.

Within seconds his lips are on Logan. Camille feels a quick pang of abandonment before those thoughts are chased away by James eyes looking up at her with a glint of a tease, a smirk around Logan's cock.

Need takes over. Her hand finds itself slipping past her underwear.

James reaches one hand up, mouth still working Logan, and tugs at both her shorts and underwear. She helps him tug them off. His hand is back moving up tank top up past her breasts, squeezing tight, pulling harshly. She hisses, sits forward and removes her own shirt. Logan is lost underneath the spell of James' mouth.

When James sits up Logan whimpers. James pulls at Logan's shirt.

"Need you," James breathes. Logan's eyes widen with surprise and a look of pure bliss. He kisses James then. Hot and heavy and it leaves Camille breathless.

James peels himself from Logan and reaches for his wallet. Logan leans over to place wet kisses down her neck, bites softly down her chest and takes one of her nipples into his mouth.

Camille is murmuring incoherently, his tongue rough against her breast. James is smirking. He leans down and kisses her.

Camille can die, she thinks. She can die in this moment at the onslaught of the two boys she loves most.

James rolls the condom onto Logan, a look exchanged between them. Her heart stills. Suddenly everything seems too real. Everything is frightening and reality comes crashing down. She fears her part is over.

But then Logan rolls on top of her.

James lies down besides them, strokes himself as he watches Logan fuck Camille, flushed and stunningly gorgeous. Logan comes watching James, brown eyes intent. She watches James kiss him through it above her as she reaches her own climax. James comes all over the both of them.

"Urgh," she groans, half serious. Logan scrunches his face.

A half-hearted chuckle shared between them.


	8. Chapter 8

**Black Light Constellations**

**Summary:** She loves them both. But she thinks maybe they just love each other.

**Pairing:** James/Camille/Logan, James/Logan

**Rating:** M

**AN:** This is the end I'm afraid. I feel really awful for having so many works in progress so this story had to end much sooner than I had planned. I am very happy with the ending however and nothing's changed except for missing happy Jagan moments that didn't fit the tone. You'll have to imagine them for me. Lord knows I can only put them through super depressing angst. The story just morphed into so much more about Camille than I had intended. It felt unfair to put Camille through that much heart ache and not make it up to her. Thanks for reading and for all of your support.

**Chapter Eight**

Logan moves in with James. In a way, Camille does too. They all stay together on James' bed. Tangled limbs tracing circles on one another until they all fall asleep. The privacy of his estate ensures that no one gets a photo of any of them coming or going. No one asks questions.

They lock themselves up and tease each other relentlessly. Getting high on one another and the sense of completeness.

They never actually talk about it. They let their other instincts take over to avoid facing how many hearts can break as an outcome of the mess they're in.

When James is off at the studio Logan and Camille spend their days like they used to. Casual dates that feels like nothing has changed if not for the part of them that both miss James when he's gone. Sometimes it's innocent and they do nothing but sit around and talk about nothing at all. Other times they surprise James, naked and fucking, timed for his return with a grin on both their faces.

When Camille is on set on her new film for long hours of the day, James and Logan spend their days in private. Camille never asks. They don't technically fuck each other in her presence. She just assumes they do. She throws herself into work. Shakes the thoughts from her head.

She has Logan. She has James. That's good enough.

She's looking to borrow a shirt when she finds James' dresser. More than one bottle of lube mocking her, confirming what she all along knew was true but still leaves her with an unsettling feeling.

An arm wraps around her waist from behind, lips on her neck that sends chills down her spine.

"Hey." James breathes.

"Hey." She turns around and leans against the dresser.

"I have the weekend off. I was thinking maybe we could all go away together. How does that sound?"

"Oh," a sudden realization dawns on her, "I, uh, I have to fly out to Sundance this weekend. My movie is being screened."

"Oh, right! I totally forgot." James looks incredibly apologetic. It doesn't make what she's about to say any easier.

"I was going to ask Logan if he wanted to come with…as, um, my date." She waits, James just nods.

"That's cool. I'm sure he'd love to go." He makes a valiant effort to not look hurt. Whether it's because she's chosen Logan over him or because it means Logan will not be around for the weekend, she's not sure. She can no longer tell who he's supposed to be jealous of anymore. It's easier to ignore these thoughts altogether.

It doesn't hurt any less.

Camille is torn between wanting James to not love her and wanting to be the only one he loves. She feels a tremendous amount of guilt when she knows she will always love Logan more. If ever forced to make a choice, no one in the world would compare to her first love.

Other times, she wishes James could choose her, _love_ her and only her. If he didn't love Logan just as much, if not more, maybe Logan could be all hers. It all came back to Logan. It always did between them. Is that not how this entire thing came to be?

She leans upwards to place a quick kiss on his cheek placing a firm, reassuring grip on his arm before she sets off to find Logan.

When she finds him, he's perched on the kitchen counter, coffee mug in one hand and a book in the other.

"Hey."

"Hey." He smiles back at her and looks around the room. "Where's James?"

She shrugs, deliberately choosing not to answer in case he sets off to find him.

"My movie is premiering at Sundance this weekend. I was thinking maybe you'd want to come with me? Be my date?"

Logan looks back towards the door. She knows he's wondering where James fits in on this plan. They obviously can't all three be seen together. He doesn't bother asking.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Logan-"

"I'm not really looking to be seen back, Camille. I just want to lie low until I figure out what I'm doing. Red carpets, tabloids, all that…I'm not looking for any of that again. I'm sorry." He hops off the counter, places a kiss on her cheek and scurries off into the backyard with his book in tow. The dismissal was eerily familiar.

The rejection hurt more than she had prepared for.

"You okay?" James leans in the doorway, "Look, Logan's got a lot on his mind lately. He's still trying to figure out what to do with school. I'll come with you if you'll have me."

Something about the sincerity in his voice caused her heart to melt. Hands perched between the doorframe in only his boxers and a beater, James looked absolutely gorgeous. The shirt rode up along his flawless abs and a sudden desire hit her. She attacks him with her lips. Logan joins them moments later and they don't make it back to the bedroom.

In the middle of the night she wakes to a light in the bathroom and two bodies close to her missing.

"So you're going?" she hears Logan ask.

"Of course, she's really excited for this movie. I'm proud of her."

"I am too but what am I supposed to do this weekend?"

"Logan," James' voice is soft and pleading.

"People are going to talk. You two are going to be called a couple again. I thought we agreed we weren't going to define anything or choose."

"Logan, I'm not choosing."

Logan scoffs.

"Logan," James says again. She readjusts herself on the bed careful to not make a sound.

Through the bathroom mirror she sees them. Logan is sitting on the edge of James' bathtub. James kneels down between his legs. He kisses Logan with a hunger she's never seen before, one hand on the back of his neck and the other gripping his waist.

He pulls away breathless, "I love you. So much."

Logan's expression is dark. He doesn't reply. James kisses him again until they're both panting and hands are roaming everywhere. Logan's hands are wrapped tightly in James' hair.

"James." Logan moans when his boxers pool around his ankle. James leaves a trail of kisses down his chest and takes the flaccid cock into his mouth – barely half hard.

James takes his time with Logan. He rests his head on Logan's thigh and works his tongue over him. He shoots soft glances up at Logan through hooded eyes, relaxing between his legs like there's no other place James would rather be.

The moans become deeper as Logan becomes harder. James is painstakingly taking his time using only his tongue to circle every part of him. Unlike the yearning that usually comes over her when she watches them, Camille is filled with something between admiration and jealousy. They've never been this gentle with each other. James' love was exuding in every touch, every look, every moan.

It's unlike anything they've ever done together. Usually the passion is so strong it sets them off like a race running towards the end goal of orgasm. James' kisses were seemingly endless. She's never realized blowjobs could be this romantic. Instead of desire, it warms her heart. Suddenly she felt voyeuristic. She felt like she was intruding in on a private moment not meant for her to see. When Logan is about to burst, he whimpers James' name on his lips. He pulls him up for a deep kiss. James breaks away and falls back into place, licking every spurt when Logan comes. Camille rolls over and falls back asleep.

Logan is gone when Camille and James leave for Utah. A note on the table about meeting with some old friends.

James stays in their hotel room when Camille does press for the film. His phone is glued to his hand and she assumes he's talking to Logan. They prepare for the red carpet in silence. A frown doesn't leave his features and she's too overwhelmed by the whole festival to ask.

Of course, when they walk the red carpet together they're bombarded with questions asking if they're dating. They both shoot off practiced responses. She giggles and he laughs with a shake of a head, both offering replies of "he's great" "she's amazing" without directly answering the question.

Halfway through the film, James checks his phone and leaves the theater. She doesn't run after him and finds herself alone for the rest of the night. She mingles with various filmmakers at the mixer.

"Camille?" She hears as she turns around. "Great film. You were amazing."

"Hey…Steve?" The man before looked vaguely like the same boy she went to prom with albeit a little bit older and more handsome.

"It's good to see you here." He grins.

"It's been so long. What are you doing here?"

"I'm screening my documentary tomorrow night. You should come check it out."

"I will, for sure! It's so good to see you."

"You too. Listen, I just had to find you. I have to run and take care of some stuff. I hope I'll see you tomorrow?" He pulls out a card and hands it to her, "Here's my number. In case, um –"

She closes the distance between them and hugs him. She grabs the card when she pulls away. "I'll see you tomorrow."

He grins back at her and she can't remember the last time she's elicit a similar reaction from James or Logan.

James shows up at the end of the night drunk, eyes red and hair a mess.

"Logan is gone." He whispers. Tears start falling and she whisks him out of the lounge before anyone can see. When they make it back to the hotel room he crumbles to the ground.

"What do you mean Logan's gone?" She asked.

"He's on a flight to Boston. He says he's going back to school. He wouldn't talk to me all day and texted me during your movie saying we make a great couple. I think he saw the pictures from tonight. When I called him he kept saying it was all too complicated and there's no way he could stay and…Camille, he doesn't want us."

She takes a moment to let the words sink in. There was one person here Logan didn't want and it wasn't James. The thought tore her heart to pieces.

"I love Logan." She blurts out, her heart hammering. "I love you too but I love Logan. More than you."

James looks up at her puzzled.

"I am just saying. For the record, I choose Logan. Who would you choose?"

"Camille…"

"Answer me. Please?"

"Logan." He whispers.

The definitive decision echoed in her ears. She had her answer. The lines were drawn.

"Good. Because he loves you." She swallowed the bitter reality.

"No, he doesn't." James had his back to the wall and legs close to his chest. He looked up at the ceiling. She takes a seat on the bed across from him.

"He loves you, James. He came back for _you_. He left school, his dreams, everything for _you_. Not me."

"You don't know that."

"Have you ever asked him? We don't because we're both afraid of what the answer might be. It's you he wants. Not me."

"He wants you." James reassures her with something like pity in his eyes. She mulls the thought over, biting her lips.

"He wants me but he doesn't love me. Not like you, James. Logan is possessive with me. He's indecisive. But the way he looks at you…the way he looks at you…I could never compare."

"I love you both, James." She was freely crying now. "But I think you just love each other."

"Camille, I love you too." He offers in a rush.

She shakes her head in refusal. "You can have each other without hanging onto me. Just let me go, James. Let me go. Please."

James doesn't reply. He studies the floor with great interest. Camille packs both of their bags while he sits there. She helps him up from the ground when she finishes, "Let's go. I'll drive you to the airport."

He doesn't ask questions. The car ride is silent and he follows her in a daze all the way to the ticket counter. She shoves the boarding pass to his chest.

"Go to the bathroom before you head for security. Wash your face and try to sober up. I'll go get you coffee."

"What is this?" He questions the ticket in his hands.

"You're flying to Boston. Take a car to Cambridge. Logan is waiting for you."

"Camille, I can't."

"No." She's nearly shouting, digging one finger into his chest. "No, James. I am not doing this again. I can't hold you together this time. Go get Logan. At least tell him who you choose. It's all he wants to hear. I can't be there for you anymore."

He takes a moment and then whispers, "Who's going to be there for you?"

For the first time in a long time, the thought didn't scare her.

"I'll be okay." She meant every word. Maybe the only way to move on is to do so alone.

He pulls her into a hug and she knows this is goodbye. The tears have stopped falling miles back but the pain doesn't lessen.

She sits in her car watching planes take off until the break of dawn. When the clock on the dashboard tells her his plane has taken off she drives home.

Her small apartment feels empty and cold. Most of her daily necessities still remain at James'. She crawls into bed and falls asleep.

She throws herself into work for the next few weeks. Her film earns her critical praise. She's abuzz all over town. Offers come flying onto her agent's desk. The risqué bearings in the film earn cover invites from Maxim and land her on Hollywood's hottest lists. She is busy with press tours and news junkets. She doesn't have time to rest or think and for that she is thankful. She's waiting in the green room of the studio when the small sound on the live feed catches her attention.

"And now we have exclusive breaking photos from Cambridge, Massachusetts where singer James Diamond is caught in a lip lock with former band mate Logan Mitchell."

She sees that the photo was taken through a window of Starbucks. The grainy film showed James leaning across the table over a pile of books she assumes to be Logan's. The kiss was sweet. James has one hand on Logan's face and she can almost make out the sound of Logan's responsive sigh.

"Exclusive photo. This is the first we're seeing of this, what a shocking surprise. When we come back we have an interview with Hollywood star Camille Roberts. What does she have to say about her two former rumored boyfriends? Stick around."

The feed goes into commercial and her manager bursts into the room.

"Camille, we don't have to do this. We can cancel this interview and all other press until you're ready. Look, we can come up with a statement for you within the hour if you want."

Camille thinks of the two boys she loves. Her heart fills with contentment for their happiness. What else more is there to say?

"No. I'll do it. I'll do the interview."

No questions were asked about her film. Instead, the host shot off question after question about Logan and James against her manager's request. She stood fuming on the sidelines.

"No, I never dated James." Camille responds.

She looks straight into the camera when she replies, hoping somewhere they'd get the message and it could ease the guilt she knows they still feel, "I'm happy for them. I wish them all the best."

The interviews for the rest of the week are more or less of the same. James and Logan stay hidden in Massachusetts and Camille learns how to sleep alone.

She receives a text from James one afternoon. A short and simple "Thank you."

Logan sends the same sentiments only moments later. She breathes a little easier, thinking of the day they'll be able to see each other again without having to fall into bed to hang onto one another.

She leaves the studio when she sees him.

"Camille." He's more put together than the last time she saw him. Handsome, as always.

"Steve." She smiles. Her fairytale ending, she ponders.

"You didn't come to my screening at Sundance."

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry. A lot of things all happened at once and I had to leave early. I'm so sorry."

She was more sorry that she hadn't thought about him until this very moment. He's the only boy who's made her feel like there's more to life than Logan.

"It's okay." He forces a weak smile, "Documentaries aren't everybody's thing. Congratulations on your Oscar nomination, by the way."

He's walking backwards and away from her.

"Wait, Steve." A storm of fans begins to surround her and she loses him in the crowd.

"Can I get an autograph?" They all ask at once, she falters for a moment before regaining her composure.

"Yeah, do you have a pen?" She asked, "Wait, I have one."

She digs into her pocket and pulls out a card, smiling at the name.

Yeah, she'll be okay.


End file.
